Invisible Disabilities

These are my sister’s words from her blog. I want to both comfort her and congratulate her on being such a thoughtful adult. She’s dealing with her invisible disability in as mature a way as anyone could ask. And when people hurt her, I want to end them.

Please be aware as you make your way around the world that you cannot judge physical or mental ability by the look of the person. Be kind, please.

I was riding the bus home from having lunch with a friend in the Mission and was sitting near the front, in the seats marked “for seniors and people with disabilities.” The bus started getting more and more crowded and maybe on another day I would have given my seat to one of the seniors, but I twisted my knee this morning and I really couldn’t think about standing.

Suddenly this woman got in my face and said “you know, you should REALLy give your seat to the older people on this bus” and then moved to storm away. I paused my iPod and (calmly) said “actually, I’m disabled, so I need to be sitting down right now.” I thought that would end it (it has in the past, even if people get snitty about it), but she turned around and spat on me.

Now, I think she was drunk, because she absolutely reeked, but still.

No one defended me. No one even said anything. Some people were staring at me.

I just really hate that this is probably going to happen again. Maybe not to this extent, but it will happen again, because it’s happened before. I hate that I feel guilty about not getting up when people ask me. I hate the looks people give me when I don’t move. I really hate the looks people give me when I sit in those seats, like I’m some lazy entitled bitch who just took the front seat because it was open.

I just want people to understand that just because someone is old does not mean that they are disabled or in pain. I know plenty of seniors who are in fantastic shape and even some who still do triathalons even though they’re in their 70’s. At the same time, just because someone is young does not mean that they are able-bodied. Not every disability is a visible one. Mine is hidden in my joints and muscles. On a good day, you wouldn’t know there was anything wrong with me if I didn’t tell you. The truth is, I hurt every single day. Walking is exhausting and hurts me. Running is out of the question. Just standing is incredibly painful.

I don’t know how people can be educated about this, but right now all I want is to be understood.

Winter Wonderland Yarn Wreath

I finished my holiday knit yesterday (Ysolda’s Peaks Island Hood pattern) and while I really want to start a new knitting project, I haven’t figured out the right one to start yet. And I think I need some help learning colorwork. So I figured it was a good time to use up some stash yarn (heads up: Lion Brand Babysoft Pompadour is the worst yarn I’ve ever knitted with) and make a yarn wreath! My friend Paula sent me a link to a tutorial of sorts last year and I’ve been meaning to make one ever since. I even went to Michael’s last year and wasn’t able to pick up the necessary items to make something. Even this year, I came home with two small wreath forms instead of the one big one I intended to buy (they were sold out), but I figure this way I get to make two – one seasonal and one more general one (I’m thinking blue/brown/cream argyle). My friend Kristin helped me pick out the perfect add-ons for the two concepts.

I call this one Winter Wonderland (aka I put a bird on it). Black and white. Classy, right?

Somewhere a dog barked…

I found my first one this week since reading the Slate article! It’s from Medicus (a novel of the Roman Empire) by Ruth Downie. Page 279:

He passed through the gates and made his way across the open area that supported the fort from the civilian buildings. At this time of night the town was little more than a huddle of angular shapes illuminated by the occasional glimmer of a torch. Somewhere among the buildings, a dog barked. [my emphasis] There was a faint sound of a baby crying. He heard the approach of voices and stepped sideways onto the road’s shoulder. Three men ambled past, too deep in a disagreement about horse racing to notice him. When they had gone, the street was empty. Ruso stepped back onto the paved surface and tried not to imagine what might be happening to a girl who was wandering the streets at this time of night.

Casey got the book from the library and since it wasn’t due back yet and he enjoyed it I decided to read it (on his recommendation). I enjoyed it. Took a bit to get into it, but the story pulls you in. Entertaining, but not amazing.

Cuddle Blanket: The Making Of

The Story of a 10 Month Secret Knitting Project

As soon as I heard my best friend, Ailey, was getting married (so some time in January 2010), I started to think about the perfect present. I couldn’t just get something off the registry. I love giving gifts. The perfect gift is an incredible thing – a chance thing that combines something-I-need-but-didn’t-know-it with she-knows-who-I-am. I wanted to put love into this gift. The thing was, not only was this my best friend getting married, but the guy she was marrying, Adam, is perfect for her. I wanted to show how much I felt that. How much I blessed them and was excited for this new chapter of their relationship.

The thing I know how to make – because it was clear to me that the perfect gift was going to be something I made – is knitted stuff. So of course I turned to Ravelry. I hunted using various now-forgotten keywords for wedding gifts and came to realize that the general best knitted wedding present is a blanket. Who doesn’t love cuddling under a warm knitted blanket?

The Pattern

Thing was, most of the results for “wedding blanket” or somesuch were lacy, frilly, loveydovey patterns. And those just aren’t Ailey and Adam. I couldn’t see them using such a fussy thing. Plus, lace blankets have that toes-getting-stuck-in-the-weave problem. Ick. No.

So I started searching just for blankets and bingo – the Moderne Log Cabin Blanket by Kay Gardiner and Ann Shayne (Mason-Dixon Knitting). It was perfect. Easily personalized with color choice while being a solid modern pattern. It looks like this pattern is available for free download even if you’re not on Ravelry. The book Mason-Dixon Knitting is also available for purchase on Amazon. The pattern is given both for adult and baby size blankets. The adult-size blanket calls for 9 blocks using 4 colors of yarn.

The Yarn

The thing Ravelry excels at is showing all the different ways you can come at a pattern by linking everyone’s projects to the pattern. I spent about a month reviewing color choices, yarns, and borders (unfortunately one of the ones that influenced me the most doesn’t have photos on Flickr. Ravelry-only link). Early in March, I decided upon Lion Brand Vanna’s Choice Solids & Heathers (yes, that Vanna, as in White. She’s a crocheter). It’s soft, machine washable AND dryable, comes in a wide variety of colors, affordable (important when you’re buying enough to make a queen-size blanket). I mocked up a few options to share with a small, trusted circle. We decided on option 3.

#1: Beige, Dusty Blue, Toffee, Espresso #2: Beige, Dusty Blue, Toffee, Silver Blue #3: Beige, Dusty Blue, Espresso, Silver Blue

I ordered 2 skeins of each color mid-March and received the package at the end of the month. I figured I’d see how much I really needed of each before ordering more.

Beginning Spinning

I am slowly becoming a fiber monster. It’s a little crazy to be adding to my toolkit when I already have so many knitting projects I want to get into (and am juggling several already one needles). Where will all this time come from? But I decided it would be fun to take a class to learn how to use a drop spindle, especially since this particular one also promised to teach about different kinds of fiber and yarn, which just makes you a better and more informed knitter.

One of the gems I found when searching for resources on drop spinning following the Ravelry Meet-up in May was this warning preceding instructions on how to use a drop spindle:

WARNING!!! Spinning reduces stress and promotes well being. It can also be habit forming and lead to obsessive behaviors such as, but not restricted to: caressing and hoarding all fibers; dying them with food colors and things from your garden or whatever you have laying about; spinning the fluffy bits of the weeds in your fields, the cotton wad in your vitamin bottles and even the lint from your dryer! Proceed with extreme caution!

With the transformation into a full-blown fiber monster in mind, I signed up for Knit One One‘s class “Beginning Spinning: On a drop spindle” taught by Brooke Sinnes of Sincere Sheep. Seriously, though, while it was a little expensive, it promised to be four hours of class spread over two Saturdays. Sounded like a good amount of time to learn, practice, and be able to ask more questions and correct technique.

Are you curious how yarn is made and want to create your own? You will learn the basics of drop spindling, and how to ply yarn. You will also learn how to finish your spun yarn and to identify the many characteristics of yarn. (A new vocabulary will emerge too!)

Fiber from Beginning Spinning Class

Secret Project Revealed!

I’ve announced it on Twitter so may as well post it here now too: Tonight I gave my best friend and her new husband the present I’ve been working on since April – an adult-size Modern Log Cabin blanket.

I have the process documented on Ravelry so I will soon be writing a longer post with more pictures.

Home Stretch

I have been very quiet because I have been doing basically nothing worth mentioning other than working on the secret project. Hours and hours every night for the past few months. It’s ALMOST done. Should have photos and stories with the reveal in the next week!

Hints: For this project I have learned two (probably more, but for now just these) new skills. Intarsia (colowork) and invisible cast-on! If I wanted to make a sweater with hearts, skulls, and panda faces, I now could.

It’s not completely true that nothing else has been happening, but in terms of my knitting and social life, that’s pretty much true. Dance has been holding excitement lately so there are several things I’ve been meaning to post about that I will get around to after the giant knitting project has been completed and celebrated.

My Emotions as an Female American-born Indian-American

I just want to clip this so I don’t forget it. Haven’t had something hit home this accurately in a while.

It reminds me of how I used to experience so many mixed emotions when I’d see women in full burqa in Brooklyn: alarm at the spectacle (no matter how many times I’d seen it), followed by a certain feminist irk, and finally discomfiture at our cultural kinship. And then it would all turn into one strong emotion — protective rage — when I’d see a group of teenagers laughing and pointing at them.

- Porochista Khakpour, “My Nine Years as a Middle-Eastern American” New York Times Op-Ed published Sept 11, 2010

Fourth of July Cookie Baking

The fourth of July seemed like a great day for baking so I decided to make something new and something familiar. I can’t make cookies without Casey craving chocolate chip so I made the usual “family recipe” (the one on the back of the Nestle chocolate chips package). I can practically do those in my sleep and they are always tasty, especially when they come right out of the oven!

For the something different I looked to Serious Eats since I’ve been marking recipes as favorites like crazy there. While I was very tempted to make the Spicy Hot Chocolate Pie, that will have to wait until my birthday. Casey and I decided we’d make that together to celebrate. But for the 4th I wanted something a little less ambitious, but just as tasty. Eureka! Chewy Ginger Cookies with Cardamom and Black Pepper. I made them as described other than the candied ginger, which I had to leave out since I just could not find at my local Safeway. I’d like to try it with that another time, though. Oh and I used regular sugar (not coarse) for rolling, but I couldn’t see or taste a marked difference there. Nex time I’d also amp up the amounts of black pepper and cardamom. They’re tasty ginger snaps, but it’s hard to tell there’s anything really different about them unless you know what to pay attention to.

May? June? Where’d the time go?

It’s not for lack of things happening that I haven’t written. I’ve been too busy and the knitting project I’m deep into is a secret one so there’s not much I can say about it.

Just a sample of the things that have happened in May and June:

• SF Ballet’s Romeo & Juliet (for Mother’s Day)
• First SF Ravelry Meet-up (a ton of fun and a very successful event)
• Attempting to start the snapdragon mitts and failing miserably (will try again later)
• Picked up and cast aside a new form of exercise
• Vassar 5-year Reunion trip to New York with Casey
• Finally using the yarn swift and ball winder (which I can’t get enough of now)

Some pictures to prove I’ve been busy! (more after the break)

Finished Yarn Wranglers Anemone Pin